Ways To Have An Exquisite Wedding Without Stress

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You’re getting married as yourself. It’s not a big deal. As long as your dress fits, you’ll be just fine. Your husband is not marrying the number on the scale, he’s marrying the person you are inside. You’re not his “chubby bride” you are the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Since I was chubby when I got married, I recommend trying your dress on today, just in case anything needs to be taken in or out. I hadn’t lost weight but my body had shifted a little so at the last minute, I had to have a couple of minor modifications made.

This may sound very corny to you… but I promise it will help. Just say a little prayer of thanksgiving for having a man who loves you just the way you are. Repeat: just the way you are. Repeat again: just the way you are. I found a book of meditations some years back that has a prayer beginning “Beloved of God, Greetings…”You too are beloved of God, as we all are. Know that and your slender sisters won’t be quite so enviable. We are all beloved of God. However your wedding will be is how it will be. Now it is too late to make changes. Relax and say thank you and enjoy the fact that you are beloved.

If you want to prepare your wedding, you can check in with a professional wedding association (Association of Bridal Consultants & Association for Wedding Professionals Internationalre). They have members (vendor resources) nationally & Internationally. You can go to their website look up a local consultant anc call them. Many will make a referral for you (often free).

Have you checked out theknot.com yet? They have a checklist of things to help you prepare for your wedding with a timeline. I recommend looking it over. You can remove items that don’t apply and I think add others if they are missing. But it will give you a good idea of everything that should be accomplished by now and what you should be doing this week.

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The Real Myths about Psychiatry

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The real myths about psychiatry is that they are trying to help anyone. First there is no such thing as a psychotropic drug that doesn’t create a chemical imbalance. Any chemical imbalance is more painful than no chemical imbalance. So the next time a psychiatrist say, “gee, I was just trying to help” you have to wonder why they were lying about their drugs in the first place. Secondly, all psychotropics cause illness. A treatment that makes you mentally well doesn’t make you physically ill. Hense we know that the purpose to their drugs is to make people mentally ill. If you are a patient and want to know if you are suffering from a state of mind or a neurological illness that requires a brain altering drug and you are foolish enough to take a drug what you need to know is this. A doctor who prescribes a drug is never going to tell you his drug is no good. You have to make that determination yourself. And the way you do that is by watching out for side effects. A side effect indicates that a drug is causing, not curing a chemical imbalance. As soon as you notice any unhealthy or unnatural side effects is the time to stop. Let’s stop the games and get down to the facts. Psychiatry kills and psyhiatric drugs cause brain damage.

I understand why you’re steeping yourself in spirituality. It’s a great comfort — and a good way to process the difficult emotions those with difficult childhoods are saddled with. BUT don’t let spiritual wishing and hoping take the place of ACTION and building a support network. One can get lost in all those books and feel very busy searching for purpose, while avoiding life.

We make our own purpose for living. Replace the pursuit of an abstract purpose with active pursuit of concrete things that interest you — and active pursuit of a support network. Avoid being alone: get yourself out and surrounded by people in any and every way possible.

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Unable to Focus or Concentrate

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If you find myself unable to focus and / concentrate for any period of time longer than say a few minutes. My mind wonders on and off the subject before me on a minute by minute basis. What can you do to combat this issue ?

It would appear that you are relatively young in your mind, as you are seeking advice for this attention problem that you are experiencing. I have had this problem, as have millions more have, all my life. It is called ADHD (Attention Deficite Hyperactivity Disorder) You need to Google ADHD, you will find a wealth of information, as it is a very common problem in society. If you have a family doctor, or know a pshychiatrist/phsycologist, they can give you a perscription for your ailment. I have taken many ADHD drugs over the years and have found Concerta to be the best. You can look that up as well.

First, not every question needs a professional opinion; some things are just common sense. And given no more information about OP’s situation that we are, drugsuqk’s suggestion seems as good as any. People who are deprived of any needed thing are edgy and distracted.

We suggest you don’t regard it as a disease in need of a drug. Have you tried some of the obvious things, like cutting down on sugar, getting enough sleep, limiting your computer time, stopping texting, not multi-tasking, working without other noise (e.g. music) in the room? We think this can help people with any conditions. Actually my whole purpose here is to prevent hurt from quackery. I know not many people can’t relate to what I know to be the truth except for others who have taken drugs.

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Psychology Behind an Offender

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I’m in a relationship with a man who is extremely verbally abusive. I already know that I need to leave, so I’m not writing to look for advice about whether to leave.

I’m writing to ask for input regarding the psychology behind some of his actions:

He says terrible verbally abusive things to me and then when I cry or tell him that he’s really hurting my feelings, he accuses me of “faking” being hurt. I ask why he bothers to insult me if he thinks it’s having no effect on me, and he claims that his goal is only to make me angry–not to actually hurt my feelings. He says that I must be “fake” crying or claiming to be emotionally hurt in order to manipulate him into feeling guilty!!!!

Do you think it’s actually possible for someone to believe that saying things like, “F*ck you, you fat, disgusting c*nt with saggy tits” to a woman is only going to make her angry and not actually hurt her feelings, especially when she is overweight and insecure as it is? Or do you think he truly believes that I’m “faking” my upset so that he can attempt to justify his behavior to himself?

By the way, he’s not someone who is totally devoid of emotion or empathy; although he generally is pretty callous, he occasionally cries over sad movies, he’s an animal lover, and he cares about his friends.

I also know that regardless of his beliefs, what he’s doing is wrong. I am just curious to hear from others regarding my question. This sounds like it has roots in something deeper. Maybe some insecurity or something from the past. Some more background would probably be helpful.

He had a very abusive (in every way imaginable) childhood. His mom would guilt trip him a lot.

He also later wound up dating someone prior to me who would cry hysterically upon being accused of cheating on him, claiming to be devastated that he would ever seriously believe such a thing. Then he actually caught her cheating on him and realized she had apparently fabricated the whole “being upset” thing as a way to try to distract him from his suspicions. This same woman would also apparently pulled similar stunts where she would pretend to be upset to manipulate him.

So his paranoia definitely makes sense, to an extent, given his past experiences. I can understand how he would sometimes be suspicious of whether I’m “truly” hurt or trying to manipulate him. However, I still don’t understand how he can just COMPLETELY doubt that I am EVER hurt by anything he says or does, especially by horrible things he says that would hurt any normal person.

He may have delusions that you are trying to do things behind his back. He may really doubt you as a sort of defense mechanism to not let what in the past happen again. HOWEVER, it is definitely his fault for being all black and white about this. He probably wants to think that he wasn’t hurt by what happened in the past, so he has a modified view of the world that says people just can’t be hurt that easily. This is all my conjecture of course. He may have one of several personality disorders, or he may not. I will not list any as most people just blow them out of proportion anyways… You can look them up yourself if you want. You should be able to figure it out better than anyone else why he does it. You may be hiding it from yourself why he is doing it, or if he is actually really doubting that you are hurt.

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Cure for Sleep Insomnia

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The cure for sleep insomnia is having a bath or shower, drinking sleeping pills such as Melatonin. Or by walking or running far or the other methods as discussed via your peers or yourself.

Sleep doctors will tell you only a bath, never a shower. Showers over stimulate your body. Drugs aren’t the answer for everything can help. It’s so complicated and different for everyone. I have good nights and bad nights.

Be really careful about combining any two drugs whether they’re OTC or not! I take some OTC diphenhydramine (Benadryl, other sleep aids) once in a while, but never combine it with anything else. If you’re not careful you can have the BIG sleep and never wake up.

I’m a previous insomnia sufferer. I started driking a coffee that has helped with my insomnia. Well, actually I can’t make any claims but it’s the only thing I can relate it to. I know…sounds crazy but it’s true. I went through chemotherapy which is what started my whole insomnia issue. I can send free samples out to anyone who’d like to try the coffee.

I’ve dealt with insomnia for years, and it certainly doesn’t help the situation to lose a job.

What helped me was no bright lights at night, have night lights on in the hallways or bathrooms, so that if you need to get up, you won’t have that stark light blaring in your eyes, sending your brain into another “I’m awake” mode.

Herbal teas at night helped me, laying off the caffeine.

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Melanoma (Skin Cancer) Signs and Symptoms

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I’ve had this odd looking nodule on my upper chest for about 10 years, about the size of a small pea. Dark and light purple in color which occasionally itches, but never ulcerates. I’ve had one severe blistering sunburn as a child, and used a sunlamp to treat acne when younger.

A GP looked at it about 9 years ago and dismissed it as a benign angioma, but it doesn’t look like any I’ve ever seen in pictures. Angiomas are also usually solid colored and don’t itch as this one sometimes does. I eat very healthily, so could this be a nodular melanoma that is being held in check by that fact? Any dermatologists or others knowledgeable on this subject, I’d be greatly appreciative. I’ll probably have a dermatologist look at it soon.

The common cancerous lesions are:

A= asymmetry. If you cut it in half, is it be a mirror image of itself. Healthy moles are.
B= border, a healthy leasion has smooth borders. Uneven borders are a warning sign
C= color Healthy moles are 1 color throughout. They are not black in one area, purle or brown in another
D= diameter. Most moles are smaller than a pencil eraser (although this does not always follow true)
E= evolving. Normal moles do not chane after they are establish. Particularly be aware of any lesion changing quickly
F= Friend – does it look like its Friends? Does it look like your other moles or is it different?

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Caregiving for the Obese

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As this nation heads further into obesity by bad eating habits such as constant eating and snacking, I am finding both caregivers as well as patients who need to take notice of their obesity and do something about it now in the interest of receiving and giving good care.

It is very difficult to physically take of someone obese and is literally back breaking work. One should not feel entitled to getting good care and expectations that you are going to be lifted here and there when you are that big. So do something while you are able to . Eat less. Period. Look at calorie content of all foods you eat.

If you are an obese caregiver, you will also become limited in what you can do physically which could be detrimental to the patient if you cannot move swiftly enough to break that potential fall, or you cannot fit into a small bathroom and give a shower to someone disabled. So if you are applying for a job and not getting one, you may want to consider losing some weight because that is possibly why you are not getting hired.

I personally will no longer hire any caregiver who is obese (not overweight) because they would not be able to help my loved one with all their physical needs. Luckily my parent is size/weight proportionate as I am but I have to work at it.

I will also not retain caregivers who come into the home and are constantly eating … Yes, I mean just that… I had one lady who was obese who was taking a break almost every 15 minutes to eat something. She was always of out of breath, could barely climb a flight of stairs, could not bend down amongst other issues such as profusely sweating all the time. She spent more time complaining about how hard it was for her to take care of the patient, because the patient was the “problem”, and she was not used to being so active… Climbing a flight of 12 stairs two times in a 12 hour shift. Obviously there was no point in retaining her since she could not perform on the job.

Overall we all need to lose weight to either get a job as a caregiver or get good care as a patient.

Quite possibly I will be rated negatively, but we all have to face the truth that obesity is making life hell for everybody when it comes to caregiving and it’s propensity for physical limitations both ways.

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Crib Recommendations

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After doing loads of research regarding cribs, I found one that seemed like it would suit our needs. We have a smaller room and didn’t want to spend too much money on a crib+mattress. It needed to be safe and have fixed sides. Convertible would be a bonus. Also, my husband is 5’8 and I’m 5’3 so it needed to be a comfortable height. We found a crib on Amazon that meets everything we’re looking for and my husband put it together today! It looks great and no problems with workmanship or quality. It is as pictured, so there aren’t covers for the bolts, but we feel safer without small detachable parts. It was pretty easy to assemble too!

For anyone looking for something similar, this is the crib and mattress we chose:

Graco 4 in 1 Convertible Crib (in white) for $145.

Sealy Baby Posturepedic Mattress (waterproof surface) for $89.

That was one of the ones I had my eye on, though we were leaning toward the Stork Craft Tuscany. But it looks like the Graco Sarah is on sale for $135 at Babies’R'Us right now, so we might have to jump on that.

Anyway, we’re just really happy with the choice and I thought I would share a recommendation.

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Ideas for Wedding Reception Activities

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As a guest attending weddings, what were your favorite activities and memorable moments (regarding entertainment)? I want to make sure our guests have a GREAT time at our non-traditional wedding. Most will be between the ages of 21 and 30 years old, with a small handful of older cousins and a few much oldrer parents and grandparents. I just want to make sure all the age groups enjoy themselves, especially since everyone’s coming from out of state, and most haven’t met before.

So far, we’ve planned on game tables, a guest-scrapbook of some sort, a collection of photos from our childhoods, and a small dance floor…not really sure what else to do! A photo-booth rental is out of our budget, but love the idea. Other than that, we’re really not sure what activities we could have to help guest mingle, and have fun! We’re having an outdoor ceremony with an indoor/outdoor reception (there’s a large deck, as well as a spacious inside area), and some extra outdoor lawn area (bumpy, not flat) as well.

Here are my two cents… Don’t try to do too many “activities” at your wedding.

First of all, you will be stressed like you can’t believe, even if you have the most casual, low-key wedding in the world. The last thing you want to do is worry that an activity is going over well or that it didn’t start or end on time.

The whole thing is going to go by really fast. Don’t try to squeeze too much into that time.

Guests mingle, it’s what they do. Unless you have 100 introverts coming to your wedding, they will chat, dance get to know one another.

The important thing is that YOU have enough time to mingle with your guests.

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Vegetarian Diet for My Kids

by on , under Weight Loss and Diet

You should check your local organic health food super markets in your area there are many alternatives depending on what kind of vegetarian you would like them to be.

- Pescetarian – which means they will still eat fish/shellfish but no other meat or meat products
- Lacto vegetarian which means they will eat dairy, but no eggs or meat or meat products
- Lacto ovo vegetarian which means they will still eat eggs and dairy but no meat or meat products
- Vegan which means they will not eat dairy, eggs, meat, or meat products

Protein can be found in lots of things they have fake meat products that mock the real thing but are made from soy and other ingredients like quorn, morningstar, garden buger, ect. There are a variety of beans (chilli, refried,plain, white, black, kidney, ect) legumes, quinoa, eggs, Nuts (peanuts, walnuts, cashews, ect) tofu, and seitan to name a few. It’s a great way to replace the meat with these options in a variety of dishes (stews, soups, casseroles, lasagnas or other italian food, mexican food dishes, other foods) you just have to experiment and season correctly there are a lot of good recipes out there on the internet.

Calcium/Dairy can be found in oranges, broccoli, spinach, cows milk, soy milk like silk, or almond milk, cheese (from cheddar, to Parmesan and ricotta and everything in between)yogurt real or soy (located in health stores and sometimes the health food refrigerated aisle at the store) There is also soy cheese out there if they do decide to stop eating dairy products.
Fruits and Vegetables of course there are many out there
Grains it’s always better to go with whole wheat, and brown rice and wheat pastas, or cereals.

For children it’s all about experimenting as far as books there is no one book i would recommend, in fact i have a whole bookcase full of nutrition ,books, vegetarian/vegan recipe books, and lots of internet pages marked; they’re all helpful.
It’s important if they are a severely finicky and doesn’t want to eat much (meaning an adequate amount of each food group to keep her healthy) that you look into supplements and the vitamins.

Just make sure they really want to be vegetarian and isn’t doing it for the wrong reasons like some children try to use it as a means of diet to loose weight quick.

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